White House press briefings are endlessly bizarre. With so many strange and inexplicable moments brought to us by Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, it’s no surprise that the briefings are a perfect target for satire.
But of all the cutting White House commentary, comedian Keaton Patti’s Â satirical White House press briefing script takes the cake.Â
Patti uploaded two pages of faux press briefing transcript supposedly written by a bot forced “to watch over 1,000 hours of White House Press Briefings.” While this is very clearly a joke (and thankfully no bot had to suffer such a fate,) his imagined transcript is pretty incredible.
The script begins with Sanders angrily walking into the White House press briefing room and announcing that, “I don’t actually wish you a good afternoon and the President hates you. Questions?”
From there, it devolves into a back-and-forth between Sanders and journalists that isn’t far off from what actually goes on in a White House press briefing.
And while they’re immensely enjoyable, I kind of wish these scripts didn’t feel so much like a mirror being held up to our own increasingly dystopian reality. Please excuse me while I step into this empty bathroom stall to alternate between laughing and crying.